Showing posts with label seniors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seniors. Show all posts

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Big Last Day Tackling Moving My Working Elderly Mom - No Decisions Made

The answer: With great difficulty.

Today is the big day, the last day -- and fourth time -- we will have a moving truck to pack up loads and loads of papers, lingering furniture, and maybe 100 or 200 boxes of books. How someone amasses such things is a mystery. I may end up building a fort with the book boxes.

The hard part is there are many valuable books so we need to spend our time and energy (really all you have in life) to pick through. Then either dedicate time to selling them online, finding somewhere to put them, or hiring someone to sell them.

Not to mention, the energy, money and time to transport the books to a safe place for storage (oh, more money).

Back to the topic at hand.

Moving a Parent From the Community, From Work Connections, From Life...sometimes it is a must do and it is never easy.

Usually the older we get, the more inflexible and set in our ways we become. It seems like a dirty topic in the media no one talks about. Many seniors have no money. Many parents would be out on the street if their kids didn't take care of them.

That's our situation. All the money spent on things and income from still working only a hope and a prayer, rarely coming to fruition.

Our Relocation Decision Path

  • Move in with me and become my dependent for a tax break. The IRS rules are actually more flexible than I realized. (If you are taking care of a parent--  especially if they are in assisted living which can totally overtakes the cost of college -- be sure to explore making them your dependent if you can save much more than any income they may be making over $3,500 such as due to stock returns.)

    In an ideal world your parent will find it a fun challenge to help you achieve the requirements to make them a tax deduction. In my mom's case. the pride and independence of working is more important to her than helping me....despite that I clearly have been paying more than half of her expenses.

    Some of the rules include:
  • Now that all the crap has been dumped on me, rent a tiny room in her home town. Being able to stay in the town or city they are familiar with -- for senility purposes -- is even more preferable than moving somewhere else in comfort, if your elderly parent wants to keep working. BUT then she would need someone to occasionally help her.
  • Move in with another sibling. Therein lies the "still working" problem as my siblings live out of state and my mom's license 
I guess those are the choices. Choices are hard but it's good to have choices.

In one week I will know the answer.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Big Mom Move to Nowhere Has Begun

We don't know where my senior mother is moving but we have to pack and move her anyway.
My poor sister is tasked with sifting through a hundred boxes, unpacked for years, and attempts to get my mom to give away and throw out some things.

I wish her luck and I will join after the packing is underway.

Today's threats so far after attempts to pack anything included: Should I just sit in the park like an old person? For she equates not having 100% of the belongings from the last 50 years as having nothing and being worthless.

I wonder where I got my propensity for minimalism?

Techniques we are using to get my mom to relocate more easily:

-Found a nice couple who can not only help her go through her things but pack and move them. They are not $65 and hour like senior downsizing specialists but much less in a range we can afford.

-Told her she could move many of her cherished things to my house then take them somewhere else if she doesn't end up moving in with me.

We haven't moved on to the probably fruitless suggestion to take photos of things.

This all has yet to kick in since she really doesn't listen. I guess we'll see.

Any suggestions welcome!